Monday, January 25, 2010

Why Adopt? (Prepare to be reading a while)

I know I answered Why Ehtiopia in my last post, but thought it was important to share how we came to decide to adopt in the first place.

Unlike many of the women who say they have always wanted to adopt, I myself did not feel that calling until November of 2006. I had been out to dinner with a friend and on the way back around 9:30 at night, was listening to Family Life Today. The topic that night was orphaned children in Brazil. I cried for most of the trip home and it was at that point that adoption had first entered my mind. My son P had asked a number of times for a brother. We would tell him to pray about it, but never really said one way or another. He was too young to explain the word vasectomy to, so we’d leave it as “it’s in God’s hands”.

From the first time I felt the Lord calling us to adopt, it never entered my mind that I wanted a baby. In fact, at first, I didn’t want it at all. I kept asking God, “are you sure”? This went on in my mind and prayers for about 2 years, until November, 2008. It probably helped that it was adoption awareness month, and I listen to Christian Radio in the morning. Several of the stories told that week on Family Life Today and Focus on the Family helped me erase any doubt in my mind that this was what God wanted. He answered my questions and calmed my fears through those men and women as they spoke.

I am more open now to the possibility of caring for a baby, but still feel that God is calling us to adopt a sibling group of boys between the ages of 2 and 5. There are several reasons I feel this calling. It all began with P’s prayer for a brother. The reason we feel called to adopt siblings is that I would want my child to always feel they had someone else to relate to, that they were not alone.

The most important reason is I just feel that this is God’s calling. When I began my spiritual quest to live the life God had called me for, I had no idea what His plan was for me. I have been a Christian all of my life, but until March, 2005, I didn’t truly live my life passionately for the Lord. I went to church most Sundays, taught Sunday school for a few years, and volunteered on committees at church, but that was about it. I didn’t have an active prayer life, read the Bible regularly, or commit to daily time with the Lord. I also didn’t live my life as Christ would. I still read books that I shouldn’t have, watched TV programs that were not Lord-pleasing, and also did not spend my time wisely, watching too much TV, too much time on the internet searching for my dream home, trying to dig myself out of clutter, rather than taking the time to organize my space.

In March of 2005, I was part of a committee studying our congregation and school climate. During a phone conversation with a mother of two from our school, I started to open up to her about things not related to our survey. I could tell she just had a passion for Christ and spoke very openly and honestly about it. At the end of our conversation, she asked if she could pray for me. I was hesitant, but said yes. I had never felt the Holy Spirit before, until that exact moment she prayed for me. From that point on, I vowed to live my life for Christ and to follow his path for me. I began to read my bible here and there, read Christian authored books and really take a look at what I was watching on TV.

On February 18, 2007 I was very sick with the flu. It was a Sunday and I remember it well as I lay on the couch. Jon took the kids to church and then out for the day. I had recorded on DVR about 10 episodes of Oprah and thought I’d catch up. That day, I watched an episode on “Fascinating Families”, Lysa TerKeurst was one of the guests and she told her story of adopting two teenage boys from Liberia. I was bawling through the whole thing- it was such a God-inspired story. They did not elaborate on her occupation, so I was completely surprised the next day when I saw her name on a Family Christian Store flyer as an author of the book “What Happens When Women Walk in Faith”! I couldn’t remember for sure if it was the same name, so I went back to the Oprah episode and sure enough- the same person! This book is such a tremendous guide, I just loved it as well as her follow up “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.” Those books were very life changing for me and I thank God he led me on that path.

It has taken some time for Jon to see that this is something God is calling us to do. During the last 3 years, I have tried to be very patient. I would say this is the longest I have ever waited on someone else to make a decision, but I am so thankful I did. Jon has grown in his faith and has become more of a spiritual leader in our home as he has prayed to God, asking for direction. More on his "God Moment" in a later post!


  1. Heather, we are so similar! I love the not trying to explain the vasectomy thing! Yep.
    We are feeling led to change our age parameters to ages 0-4. I'm feeling boys all along, but God definitely likes to surprise us.
    I love the story you shared in your post. It is so neat to see how God orchestrates the things that happen to us and around us to plant His seeds in our hearts. And our husbands' hearts.
    It looks like you're coming along with the paperwork. We are sending in our revised homestudy tonight and it will hopefully be on its way to AGCI soon!

  2. God's blessing to you Tiffani- I think you have bypassed us on the paperwork!