Friday, August 20, 2010

It is so NOT about me.....

Hi y'all

I know, I know, I am not even close to being southern, so why do I start with y'all? Because I secretly covet the cute southern girl accent. We in central Wisconsin do not have accents. We have our plain, boring "hi, how are you" voices. Don't worry, I don't dwell on this daily or anything, it was just a random thought I had tonight and decided to share. But if you see me and I say hi y'all, you'll know why!

Anyway- on to explain the title of my post. There is a t-shirt that hangs in the club where I work out and I see it every time I am there. In big letters it says "It's All About Me!" I despise that t-shirt, because life is so NOT all about me, or you, or my hubby, or my kids, or my friends.

Our culture tells us on t-shirts, in commercials, in magazines that it IS about us, that we deserve the best and the recognition because we work hard, right? The spotlight should fall here because I got good grades, I helped a neighbor in trouble, I volunteer at my church, I got a promotion at my job, I excel in sports. You name it, we are looking for praise from the world for what "I" have done. (I am generalizing of course. Not everyone thinks this way all the time, but subconsciously our sinful nature kicks in and we all feel this way once in a while.) But when it comes right down to it, "I" have done nothing. Without God, "I" alone can do nothing. However, God promises: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phillipians 4;13. What an awesome reminder that not only can I do anything through God, but that is the ONLY way I can do anything.

This process of adoption has taught us so much about this passage in the Bible. We are not going to be able to do this on our own. We have and will continue to totally and completely lean on the Lord and His Word for his guidance, for strength, courage, patience and hope. We are not looking for a pat on the back or for anyone to tell us we are doing a great thing by adopting. We want all the honor and glory to go to the Lord, who put this desire in our hearts.

Honestly though, sometimes it still seems very surreal to me that this is going to happen. I go about my day, happily enjoying my three precious ones, even having time to myself on occasion to read, exercise, spend alone time with my hubby, visit with friends or hang out with my mom and sister. And then I do start to think "Maybe It IS All About Me?!?!". I've put in the 10 years of hard time, now I "deserve" some rest - right?". And selfishly, I think to myself, "do I really want to give up this new-found 'freedom' I have just found?"

And then God quickly puts me in my place and reminds me, like he did today with a sick child, that his purpose for me on this earth is to lovingly serve my children, to nurse them back to health, to love them unconditionally, to teach them to live for Jesus; to be their mom. If he chooses to bless me with one or two more precious little ones, I will be so honored, and work my hardest to share with them early on what it has taken me more than 35 years to figure out:

" It is ALL about Him".

******JJ- thanks for your inspiration and advice. You truly are a great mother and example! May God continue to bless your journey in motherhood!******

Saturday, August 7, 2010

27 is my favorite number!

OK - for selfish reasons, this is my favorite number b/c my birthday is February 27th and my firstborn's is July 27th, but we are officially number ******27****** on the waitlist, and it gets even better! We have also received our FDL -Favorable Determination Letter from USCIS (Immigration), stating we can move forward with the adoption!

We are super thrilled because these last few months with little to no change has been hard. It's not that we are anxious or can't endure the wait, to be honest, it has allowed the devil to work in our minds and raise a little doubt. For 5 months we worked on paperwork, ran here and there and then everything stopped and the waiting began. Jon and I talked about this and we know and still believe we are doing the right thing and are excited for our family, yet the fear of the unknown still exists.

AGCI assured us that summer and Christmas are the two most difficult times in the waiting game. Honestly summer wasn't too bad because we were so busy. For me, it will be the school year b/c all my precious ones will be at school and I will be on my own. I am trying to decide how to fill my days this school year, between volunteering and keeping up with the house and getting the kids where they need to be after school I am already busy, but I know God wants me to be doing something else. I feel the calling to facilitate another bible study, since the first one went so well. I also have thought about leading a prayer group at school to pray for our children and teachers. Both of these could easily fit into my schedule, I just need to stop procrastinating and start planning.

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. We truly are having a wonderful, busy summer and I just don't get to sit down at the computer much anymore.